Fears

Before I decided to make yet another attempt at a diet, I knew I had to admit something. I have a fear, a fear of change. I have had my fat cells for many, many years. I have made friends with each and every one of them.

Going on a diet does create and even necessitate change. I need to change how I eat, even how I look at food. On the surface this might seem a simple thing. But its not. Eating is enjoyable. The social situations where we enjoy food is enjoyable. Even the preparation, if like me, you enjoy cooking, is enjoyable. So here is my first fear. I won’t be able to do something I enjoy as much as I have been.

Another change will come about as a result of the first change. Weight loss. What is there to fear with that, you wonder? Well, think about it. Losing weight changes how the body looks. A significant weight loss will change how you look at yourself, and how others look at you. The psycho babble about carrying extra weight as a protective wall between you and others might have some merit. It is something to hide behind. You know the expression: there is a skinny person hiding inside that fat person. If that is true, does she have a different personality? How will I deal with her?

A third fear is failure. Failure in being able to stick with it, and make the progress I wish to have. Fear of making the progress, and failing to KEEP it!

I guess I need to get comfortable with the idea of losing my old fat cell friends. Perhaps they can find a new home?

Today, I have done well. I stuck to my plan.